My mom thinks I'm crazy, but...

I would like to begin by apologizing profusely for my lack of posts. I hate it when people do stuff like that to me and I'm sorry for putting you through that.

Anyway, as the title sujests this is an opinion of mine that is not shared in any way by my friends and family, but bare with me.

Ok so you've seen Castle right?

or at least heard of it somewhere, well it's a show about a mystery writer who is following around an NYPD homicide detective, at first against her will, because he decides to use her as his new muse. As it turns out his creative turn of mind actually helps them unravel some of their most difficult cases, and trust me, there are a TON of bizzare cases. If you haven't seen it, you should, and I am about to lay down some major spoilers for season four so... yeah read at your own risk.

Well, since you're obviously still here....

Season four picks up from a major cliff hanger, the homicide detective, Beckett, has just been shot in the chest by a sniper somehow involved with her mom's murder. The rest of the season revolves around her recovering from this, I mean they actually show her going to therapy, and around her relationship with Castle. Oh did I forget to mention? In a fit of panic upon seeing her start dying in his arms Castle tells her that he loves her. Yes, he uses the "L" word. Gasp! And this is where my problem starts.

You see for the first few episodes Kate claims to have no memory of what happened immediately after she was shot, however you quickly find out this was a lie, she remembers everything, including Castle's profession of love. But she does nothing about it. She lets it hang there, allowing him to wallow in the purgatory of should he admit it again and risk her refusal of his advances, or keep it hidden from her but never be able to move on because of his true feelings.

When I considered this, and Beckett's obvious lack of care for Castle's feelings in the matter, I promptly told my mother (who introduced me to the show) that I viewed Castle and Beckett's relationship as an abusive one. She did not take it well, she promptly told me I was wrong and gave me that kind of half glare-half frown-half squint that clearly said "you are completely flipped."

 

BUT I STAND BY MY STATEMENT!!!!!!!!!

 

At this point in the story this is an abusive relationship, not the physical kind but an emotional one, and Beckett is the abuser. She openly avoids Castle in the beginning because she doesn't want to deal with her feelings on the matter, but gives him no explanation, making him think HE must have done something wrong. She does nothing to dissuade that opinion, instead she lets him rot in friend-zone purgatory, the worst punishment for men EVER designed by women, and all because she doesn't want to acknowledge her feelings, or even that she has any, when, for the past two seasons, it was quite obvious that she did. This isn't one of those 'I don't want to ruin my friendship' things, no, this is one of those 'I am what's most important right now, everyone else just stop feeling until I can GET OVER MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!' I hate. hate! HATE! When people do that! YOU ARE NOT THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE YOU KNOW!!!!!!!!!! Just sayin...

 

And to make matters even worse, she eventually lets slip to castle that she does know how he feels, but she just cant be bothered enough to care about his feelings at this point. She basically says she doesn't want to care about him right now, and she doesn't feel any regret for leading him on and torturing him like this. She was ok with it as long as her own little world didn't get thrown off balance. Castle is of course crushed, so he does what any sensible person would do, he tries to move on, but suddenly Beckett drops another bomb shell, He's not allowed to. Beckett basically throws a raging hissy fit when he tries to get over her, Apparently he has to keep taking her torture until she decides she's ready to give a _____! <---- (insert expletive here). So still in love with her, but not allowed to either admit or acknowledge his feelings Castle still tries to protect her and keep her away from the people that have it out for her. Well Beckett finds out he cut a deal to protect her, because he loves her, in a 'brilliant' moment of utter selfishness she yells at him about it. No he's not allowed to want to keep her safe, or help her on the case, or have feelings in any way, only she can have them to fuel her self-destructive anger filled quest for revenge. Yeah, real smart there Kate, can you hear me rolling my eyes?

 

Now here is what I like about Castle, after she does this, after an entire season of emotional abuse, after her giving him nothing but ______<-----(Insert expletive) for the past 22 episodes, Castle does exactly what Beckett thinks she wants, he leaves her to her case, takes away any input, even deletes her file off his home server, and just plain leaves her, leaves her abuse, and walks away. This is great because he doesn't cause a big scene, he doesn't go out on a low note, he just leaves, leaves her to feel exactly what he has felt coming from her for the past season, cold, emptiness, and lack of feeling there. Beckett of course comes to realize what a _____<-----(insert expletive) she was being when she almost falls of a building and calls out for Castle, only to realize she chased him away and he's not coming back for her. This, of course leads to a great scene where she shows up at his apartment and the first thing he says is "What do you want?" perfectly mirroring her emotionlessness that has up until now permeated his life. She promptly confesses her feelings , practically crying in regret, and then proceeds to make out with him, ending the season.

 

I do love this show, the drama, the stories, Castle's character, almost everything, Except for this relationship in season four.  Yes the individual stories are good, but this just leaves a dark undertone in the episodes that makes them harder and harder to enjoy. I know for a fact there are hundreds upon hundreds of people out there who would probably disagree with me, but hey, that's cause they're not me.

WTH: Willy Wonka

Now I know I haven't really posted anything lately, and yes I did recently just do Willy Wonka, but I've been in a bit of a funk that has prohibited any real activity. I am so sorry. Well without further ado,

WTH: Willy Wonka, (the Candy man song)

If the candy doesn't completely mess up your teeth don't worry, the candy counter to the chin definitely will. Wonka Candies, getting dentists paid one way or another. =)

WTH: Adam West Batman

Ok, so the first time I was introduced to batman was via an original live action Adam West batman movie cleverly titled, "Batman". I recently rewatched it just for nostalgia purposes, and in one of the first scenes Batman is fighting off a shark, and during the fight you see him go for these...

I'm sorry, but, WHY?

Oceanic Repellent Bat Sprays? What? Why on earth does Batman need Whale repellent? And as a spray? For oceanic creatures, an aerosol spray? How many manta-rays are you expecting to run into outside of the water? Just saying.

The deadly shnozberry!

sorry I kept this so late, I really cant come up with an excuse. Ah well.

Ok, so when I was a kid I loved Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory, the colors, the oompa-loompas, the allure of a life time sugar high. Ah yes, those were the days.

Well when I watch that show again today and I am once again immersed in those wonderful colors and sounds I cant help thinking one thing...
Well, ok, two things, the first being how far off this movie is from the book, compared to the Johnny Depp film anyway, but the second and only less obvious thought would be this...

WHAT THE HECK I WRONG WITH THIS MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am serious, I'm surprised I didn't pick up on this when I was a kid,( the scary tunnel not withstanding)

 this movie is so messed up.

I guess the guy who made this just skimmed the book, considered it, then decided to film what was the equivalent of a drunken, drug induced, chocolate filled hallucination for the factory scenes, and be just plain cruel to Charlie the rest of the time. I mean, just look at the first real scene of the movie, where the friendly candy store owner is talking to his customers and singing "The Candy Man."

(0:38 did one of those kids just grab a Slugworth candy?)

Are any of those kids even paying for this stuff? NO! No, it's "give these lousy rich brats free candy" day, but when Charlie walks in with almost no money he's got to pay full price. Does he get to run behind the counter? Does he get free soda-pop? Does he get some vaguely creepy store owner singing to him about the guy who makes the chocolate? NO! No, he gets to go home and be scarred to death by some creepy tin peddler outside the Wonka factory.

Of course we all know about his bed ridden grand parents who couldn't possibly get out of bed for any reason. OH wait!

 

then the mom trys to cheer us up by singing THE MOST DEPRESSING SONG EVER!!!!!

THIS WAS MY CHILDHOOD!

 

And, AND we get this moron of a teacher...

Where did you even get those chemicals? Do you have a licence for those? My chemistry teacher would kill him.

 

SO that happened. Then we get to the fun part, you know the one where a old, obviously insane man proceeds to cleverly pick off the children one by one in an attempt to find a successor. Yeah.

I didn't appreciate it back then, but if today was the first time I ever watched this movie I could probably guess what was about to ensue just by looking at the guy who plays Wonka...

 




Ah, the best of Gene Wilder. =)


Now we all know how Wonka handles the removal of his rather irritating guests, allowing one to almost drown in chocolate, while dryly saying

And, even more memorably to Agustus' mother,

"Help. Police. Murder."

 

I am not even getting into that scary tunnel mess. That is possibly the second most terrifying performance in child film history. The most terrifying I will address at a later date.

 

He later "reprimands" Violet, "No. Stop. Don't. in complete monotone. love that.

 

Veruca and her father get sent to the incinerator.

 

and Mike T.V. gets shredded into itsey, bitsey Mikey bits before being reassembled at a fraction of his original size.

 

But we all remember that.

What we forget is that he shows them all these wonderful things to touch taste and smell. Like leaving out the exploding candy and blowing up Mike's mouth. What did you forget that? Yeah check it out. And let us not forget the Fizzy-lifting drinks incident.

 

So wonka shows off his lickable wallpaper and tells them to lick the shnoz berries, and in doing so not only says one of the coolest lines ever...

But he also seems to make it very clear that 'it's ok to try anything we may come across'. This is something Charlie and his grandfather indulge in in the Fizzy-lifting drink testing area. This launches them into the air, which is all fine and dandy... EXCEPT FOR THE SPINNING BLADES OF DEATH ON THE ROOF!

 

OMG WONKA! why the heck do you have those in a room where you are testing with anti gravity? How many Oompa-Loompas have you lost already to that thing?! What is with you and life & death situations?! Come on Man! AND, to top it off, you've trained your minions to sing happily about what ever tragedy just happened and essentially tell us exactly how they went wrong. Yikes.

 

So that was my childhood.....

WTH: White Christmas

by the way if the title says WTH, it means it is a part of the one-shot series

In the end of the movie White Christmas when the general is shaking everyone's hands, he totally blows a guy off...

Smooth move guy,  "play it off, reach for the hat, maybe no one saw that."

Yeah, we did.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!

Everything possibly wrong with Santa Claus is coming to town

Merry Christmas everybody, how are you? Been good? Gona get lots of presents? Yeah.
You know this is one of my favorite times of year, everyone is so happy, families get together, fattening treats are made, the tree is lit, and all those classic Christmas films appear on TV being played over, and over, and over.
Ah yes, those Christmas films, telling us endless stories of peace on earth, big red fat men, and how being a jerk will get you killed horribly. And out of all those films there really are some that just take us back and force us to rewatch them every year.
How the Grinch stole Christmas, Christmas story, White Christmas, Year without a Santa Claus, The Santa Clause, Rudolph, Frosty, and the ever popular Santa Claus is coming to Town.

This really is a fun movie: The story of how Santa came to be, from baby to man, how he find Mrs. Claus, saves a town, beats the bad guy, and all while growing that impressive beard and dragging around a VERY lost penguin. Like I said, it's a great show, and there is

SO MUCH WRONG WITH IT!

This show is far from being as messed up as Rudolph is, but it has its moments, my personal favorite being the creepy smiling child that is just sitting there smiling away as the other children are bawling their eyes out or completely terrified.

This kid is totally from my nightmares.

Seriously kid there is something wrong with you! GO AWAY! GAH!

But anyway, this show has some laughably disturbing parts, and some not so laughably disturbing parts, and is just over all HIGHLY DISTURBED!

What do you mean you don't believe me? Oh dear, you should know by now that I tend to be right every single time you do that. Want proof? Fine.

Take the very first scene (after the narrator scene starts), where we first see the villain eating a chunk of mutton the size of a baby, and speaking of babies the head guard comes charging in holding one that had been left on the stoop.

Okay pause here, why is there an abandoned baby on the front porch, IN WINTER? Nice job parents, look I know you tried to give your kid a "better life" by leaving him with the mayor, but YOU LEFT HIM ON A STONE DOOR STEP IN WINTER! just saying.

Anyway, so Burgermeister is dumbfounded that anyone thought he would take care of a baby, him of all people...

"Burgermeister Meisterburger: I, Burgermeister Meisterburger, take care of a baby? Outrageous! What's it's name?

Grimsby: This is the only clue, sir.
[an name tag]
Grimsby: It says, "Claus".
Burgermeister Meisterburger: Ah, take the little, er, baggage to the orphan asylum. That's the proper place for foundlings anyway.
[the baby starts to cry] "

Of course if his name had been Burgermeister is awesome, there wouldn't have been a problem.

Any way, so the guard trys to take the baby, loses the baby, woodland creatures find the baby, quick HIDE THE BABY UNDER A PILE OF WOOD! the Winter-warlock will never expect a random pile of wood!

Then the animals take the baby to the Kringles, and upon seeing him one of the Kringles says a very memorable line.

"Dingle: Wiggle my ears and tickle my toes, methinks I see a baby's nose! It's more than a nose. There's a whole baby attached to it. Better call my brothers! Wingle! Bingle! Tingle! Zingle! "

first of all their parents hated them with names like that, 2) he said that like he was surprised there was a baby attatched to the nose. You get many severed baby noses delivered then? What the heck!

The kringles raise the baby as Kris Kringle, and teach him about their occupation; Making toys that they throw in a pile in the back yard. Real profitable there. They also tell him of their former occupation, as royal toymakers. 

Pay attention to this guy, right here.

SO fast forward, Kris grows up, decides to actually make some revenue, gets the red suit, and starts climbing the mountain between them and the town. While climbing he runs into a penguin, A PENGUIN, at the north pole. But that isn't even the biggest problem, the biggest problem is the Warlock, who threatens to kill them, but when  they run off is like "ah, I'll wait until they come back". that warlock is the second laziest guy in the film, honestly, he doesn't even know how to walk.

And it just goes downhill from there.

When Burgermeister wipes out on a toy his doctor tells him his funny bone is broken, but puts a cast on Burgermeister's foot. What? Geee, thanks doc.

When Kriss is being told off by Jessica for giving the children toys he bribes her with one, he then does the same thing to Burgermeister and the Warlock. It only works twice.

Santa gave a kid a machine gun for Christmas, a REAL MACHINE GUN!

When the bribery doesn't work on bergermeister and the guards chase him out they run to the edge of the woods and say...
"Ah, We'll never find him in there.."
Seriously? SERIOUSLY! oh, we'll never find the guy with orange hair in a bright red suit, trimmed with fur, carrying a giant sack, followed by a penguin, running through these woods where the trees are a good two yards apart in every direction and visability is as near perfect as we can get it. Nope, we'll never find him.
Ladies and gentlemen, the laziest guys on the planet.

Warlock is suseptable to bribery, and by the way, ever notice this?

The warlock is totally doofenshmirtz.

Kriss starts breaking into people's homes to deliver presents, which leads to this scene...

See that kid up in the corner, by the lamp post? See that duck he's holding? the exact same duck that injured Burgermeister earlier and got toys banned. So what does the kid do? He runs up and starts attacking Burgermeister with it, real nice kid, that totally wont be linked to any traumatic memories for him and cause him to continue to overreact over the toys.

Well he does, and if you watch while he is raiding one of the houses you'll see something interesting

Holy Crap! It's the king! also the claymation people seem to have been a bit excessive with the mom's, um, chest there. It's wider than her head!

Well the climax happens, kriss is arrested, and jessica suddenly breaks into song.

She is SOOOOOOOO HIGH!

After that of course there is very little left wrong with the show, besides of course...

Hey, we're criminals now, so here's a good time to tell you you're adopted. =D

Pardon? What the heck!

 how they managed to WALK to the North Pole

and how much Jesica has let herself go. Yikes, ease up on the cookies lady!

overall this is a very messed up, but very lovable movie that I laugh at every year, and I hope you do too

EXTRA:

Hey, there's a sequel out for this post, so go check it out:

http://scarecrowsgotagun.blogspot.com/2016/12/part-2-everything-possibly-wrong-with.html 

WTH: A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving

Wow 50 views, I'm impressed. Thank you guys so much for putting up with my rather sporadic posting, it means so much to me.

And so, in commemoration of this blog's 50 views, and the wonderful holiday we just celebrated, I will be starting my one shot series, also known as my WTH series (What The Heck series). These are those random moments that aren't big enough for discussion, but still need to be pointed out in my opinion. They might be elaborated on later, but until then they are just for your mild enjoyment.

So without further ado:

WTH: A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving

 

Why the Heck does Charlie brown have so many toasters just sitting around his house?

Why on earth are there three kids and a dog crammed together on one side of the table, and one ethnic side-character all alone on the other?

And does anyone else realize that Woodstock is basically performing cannibalism here?

 

That's it, hope you enjoyed.