WTH: Is that Charlie Brown's kid?

This post is done in the spirit of the upcoming christmas season, and is honestly something that's concerned me for a long time...

Has anyone seen those multiple rip off sequels to frosty the snowman, the ones where the animation doesn't even attempt to match the origional or there is some completely conveluted story involved? Well one of them was called "Frosty Returns", and honestly was the second less irritating out of the bunch. Even if the animation was off, the songs were good.

It wasn't a direct sequel, it wasn't even produced by the same company, but it was alright. It focuses on a town where the adults hate snow, while the kids love it, and follows a lonely girl and her nerdy friend as they attempt, with the help of Frosty, to stop an evil business man from eliminating all the snow in town and taking it over. While it is obviously not the best, there was one character I really liked, the nerdy friend Charles...

Recognize him? This kid is totally the spawn of Charles m. Schultz's Charlie Brown and Marcie.

I'm dead serious, look at him! and this isn't even that implausible of a theory. In the Peanuts strip Marcie actually acknowledges that if Charlie Brown were to ask her to marry him, she would say yes.

Plus the Kids name IS Charles, as Charles Jr. maybe? not to mention those familiar glasses, outfit color choice, that the film itself was directed by the same guy who directed Charlie Brown Christmas, and, if you go by Marcie's first real appearance being in 1971, and this film takes place in 1992, that would put the two of them in their late 20's and in a ripe age to be married and have a kid already in elementary school. And I'm not even going to get started on the other children of the Peanuts characters.

Pig-pen's kid and Franklin's kid sit in the front. The blond either belongs to Sally or Schroder. The red head looks like Pepermint-Patty's kid, while the guy with glasses could belong to Violet. The Kid on the end is Lucy's.

WTH: Aladdin, AKA oops, forgot you were dead

I apologize for being absent for so long, I am a procrastinator by nature, anyway...

WTH: Aladdin, A.K.A. Oops, forgot you were dead

Ok, so does anyone else see this plot hole?
So Jasmine sneaks out, dresses like a beggar, and falls for a street rat while breaking the law.

After which she is returned to the palace and Aladdin is arrested. Not wanting to see the guy she likes, might possibly love, imprissoned for no reason she confronts Jafar to have him released. 

Jafar tells her Aladdin is dead.

She believes him,

Here's where the plot hole comes in. After meeting Prince Ali, she begins to suspect he is Aladdin, and eventually confronts him, accuseing him of lying to her about being, well, himself.

See the hole yet?

Not once does Jasmine question the fact that he is alive, even when he confirms that he did meet her in the market place (dont even get me started on how flimsey that lie is).

Seriously Jasmine? 

You spent a period in mourning over this guys death, threatened the job stability of, essentially, his killer, and even got your father in on the action, then the guy shows up alive and it's like 'Meh, you're alive. So what? Why did you not tell me you were the filthy, homeless, poor kid I met the other day?'

Are you serious!?

So... that's a magic trailer

I really am sorry I haven't updated since, like, June, but I've been busy.
Yeah... so...
Alright I know this is a bit nerdy, but so is everything else on here. Anyway, I was recently re-watching Transformers Prime, and in one of the earlier episodes we get to see Optimus' trailer, and as I watched the whole episode I had to admit that the saddest thing wasn't all those bad guys whose 'deaths' occur in the car chase, or in the skirmish later, or even the thought that the human protagonists were about to shoot off the edge of the train tracks and crash and burn in a fiery explosion.

No, it was that the bad guys blew up the magic trailer.

So now you're probably wondering, why should I care? Or, where am I going with this? Or, why am I on this blog when I typed that scene in from the wizard of oz instead?
Rest assured there is a madness to my method.

First of all, to really appreciate what the heck it is I am talking about, one really needs to understand why I call it the 'magic trailer'. 

So the series itself is part of a vast, um, universe I guess, of stories that have been around for about 30 years, give or take, which center around alien robots that turn into cars. 

Yeah. 

Anyway they are in a millennia old civil war that has spilled over onto Earth (because EVERY alien in the history of EVER, lands on earth at some point in their lives), and the good ones are led by the big red truck in the middle.

In just about every continuity he has transformed into some form of semi, or of a fire truck with a detachable bed, all complete with semi trailer attachment.
That isn't so much of a problem, as the newer shows tend to have the trailer solely as an accessory, to be attached for random episodes. It is not a part of his transformation.

However, when he first débuted, every time he transformed the trailer was suddenly there, and then gone when he got back up. It always bothered me as a kid, but not enough for me to get super worked up.

And why does he even need the trailer anyway? What functionality could it possibly have if it disappears every time he goes into attack mode? Even the show's/comics/toy-line's creators had a problem with this.

So, in all the subsequent editions after G1(Generation one), Optimus' trailer gets upgraded into either a portable battle station, extra armor, or both.

So what exactly is this mystical, magically appearing device that has raised questions for generations of loyal, nerdy transformers fans, and what is its purpose?

Well... I have a theory...

Something a lot of fans appeared to have missed concerning the beloved leader of the Autobots, besides the fact he is guaranteed to die at least once per series, (GUARANTEED! Fastest death and revival, 72 seconds), is that he is actually a member of the original thirteen transformers (not that he remembers of course), also known as the thirteen Primes. Each Prime had some mystical weapon or object associated with them, one that defied all laws of science and logic. And, while they confirm the names and powers of the other twelve objects/weapons, sort of, Optimus'/Thirteen's artifact/weapon is never confirmed. 

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Oh Yeah!

Yep, I am pretty darn sure the magic trailer is his epic weapon/artifact. 

I mean if you watch some of the original, and the newer shows, that thing can re-purpose into just about anything. It can even 'clown car' like ten Autobots into itself before either becoming a battle ready station, or just ceasing to exist so any bad guys can't use it for evil. 

It's even got a space satellite mode apparently.

That'd do it. And lets not forget that anyone who tries to become prime after Optimus ends up with a trailer too.

 
 Hot rod goes from that, to this. Yikes.  Small mercy, he loses it when Optimus comes back from the dead a second time.(Yes, he not only comes back from the dead once, but twice within the EXACT SAME SEASON of G2!!!)

 The magic trailer strikes again! You cannot escape!

But seriously, the magic trailer is very deeply embedded into transformers pop culture history. It just defies all logic and boggles the mind. Now, if you like I've included some videos that make an attempt to solve the trailer's mystery, so watch if you will, if not have a great night.



 

 personally I believe this one

 

WTH: National Treasure

I can't be the only one who's noticed this. So if you've seen the National Treasure movie you would remember the scene where you watch Ben and Riley preparing to steal the Declaration of Independence. They have this whole elaborate plot to make the document accessable by getting it moved to the preservation room instead of the high security vault that is technically impossible to break in to. Well at the same time this rival treasure hunter guy is also plotting to steal it. Pretty sound so far right? well when Ben is in the preservation room unbolting the Declaration display case the bad guys show up and start shooting at him.

Have you spotted the problem yet?

These guys show up at the preservation room to steal the Declaration, only no one knew that it had been moved there, Riley and Ben had only gotten it moved that afternoon, so how did those guys know where to go? Since they obviously couldn't have known the Declaration was moved then their plan must have been to storm the vault, something they would have needed more than just the small explosives they were carrying to accomplish, and how did they plan to escape hmm?

This plot hole is big enough to drive their escape van through, not to mention that for some reason, even though the bad guys only ever have like 25% or less of a clue Ben and his group can barely stay one step ahead. Yeah, the British must not have been very bright if they couldn't find the treasure, just saying.

IT"S ALL OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's over, it's all over. HOLY CRAP IT'S OVER!!!!!! PHINEAS AND FERB IS OVER!!!!!!!!! why? WHY!?!?!?!?!?

The very LAST Phineas and Ferb episode premiered about an hour ago from when I'm typing this. It came, it saw, IT CONCURRED!!! I am not going to spoil the whole thing, but I will say it ends with Phineas waving good-bye to the audience before closing the door. IT WAS THE MOST PERFECT BEAUTIFUL ENDING FOR THIS SHOW EVER!!!!!!!!

And now that it's over I don't know what to do with myself. I mean it was possibly one of the most freaking fantastic shows Disney has ever produced. They were a mixed family, but they never brought up the 'other' significant others, the kids never had problems with their parents being remarried. The boys weren't annoying little brothers (at least never on purpose), they loved their sister, their parents, their friends, and they loved them back. They never purposely broke the rules, and if something was dangerous they used all the correct safety procedures. They had such in depth characters too, and their relationships:

Candace embodied every single teenage neuroses ever and helped us to realize just how stupid and pointless they all were.

Bufford and Baljiet had a frenemy relationship that could rival Doof and Perry, and showed us that being friends with someone didn't mean they have to like the same things, or have a similar personality, and that who we appear to be originally is not who we have to be for real.

Isabella, proof that girls can be put in, and navigate out of, the friendzone, and can be completely BA without being any less of a girl.

And Stacey, Stacey's character development came out of nowhere, she was one of the most constant spectators and gave us such a wonderful view of how a 'normal' person would respond to all this craziness,

Linda and Lawrence showed kids, and more specificly parents that being a in a relationshim didn't mean there needed to be fighting, or threatening, or turbulence. It didn't need cheating, and any problems could be solved by just talking and actually trying to work things out.

Doof and Perry, evry hardship ever faced in adult life, every relationship struggle, every possible error in family life, friends, society, all rolled up into one duo, who then proceed to work it all out. Doof shows us a mirror in which we see our pettyness, our greed, our struggle to be on top reflected back in all it's ridiculus glory. We see how our selfish struggle is doomed to failure, but if we look around there are people there willing to help us, who care about us, and that we are never truely at the bottom of the heap if we have them. They showed all the adults that watched this show that, yes, life can be hard, but we don't have to give up or give in, we can push through and become better people. We need to stand tall in our values, and not let ourselves get thrown in the dust. We don't have to let our past define us, because we make new experiences every day. Hate doesn't have to be hate, and love can be found anywhere, we can form a new destiny, if we only try.

And Phineas and Ferb... oh where do I begin?

"The only thing that's impossible is impossability." We can become, we can do anything we dream up, we can make every day the best day ever, we can stand up in  the face of a challenge and say 'ok, let's fix this.' LEt's do something for someone because we love them, let's try to include everyone, regardless of race, sex, or creed. Let's live every day like it can be the BEST DAY EVER. If we can dream it we can do it, and all without having to break the rules or hurt somebody. We can care about everybody, and try to leave our mark on history. We can Carpe Diem, and "keep moving forward".

So Phineas...

And Ferb...

We will always love you and always miss you. You have made our lives a little brighter, and we thank you. And so as I depart I will leave you with this.

My mom thinks I'm crazy, but...

I would like to begin by apologizing profusely for my lack of posts. I hate it when people do stuff like that to me and I'm sorry for putting you through that.

Anyway, as the title sujests this is an opinion of mine that is not shared in any way by my friends and family, but bare with me.

Ok so you've seen Castle right?

or at least heard of it somewhere, well it's a show about a mystery writer who is following around an NYPD homicide detective, at first against her will, because he decides to use her as his new muse. As it turns out his creative turn of mind actually helps them unravel some of their most difficult cases, and trust me, there are a TON of bizzare cases. If you haven't seen it, you should, and I am about to lay down some major spoilers for season four so... yeah read at your own risk.

Well, since you're obviously still here....

Season four picks up from a major cliff hanger, the homicide detective, Beckett, has just been shot in the chest by a sniper somehow involved with her mom's murder. The rest of the season revolves around her recovering from this, I mean they actually show her going to therapy, and around her relationship with Castle. Oh did I forget to mention? In a fit of panic upon seeing her start dying in his arms Castle tells her that he loves her. Yes, he uses the "L" word. Gasp! And this is where my problem starts.

You see for the first few episodes Kate claims to have no memory of what happened immediately after she was shot, however you quickly find out this was a lie, she remembers everything, including Castle's profession of love. But she does nothing about it. She lets it hang there, allowing him to wallow in the purgatory of should he admit it again and risk her refusal of his advances, or keep it hidden from her but never be able to move on because of his true feelings.

When I considered this, and Beckett's obvious lack of care for Castle's feelings in the matter, I promptly told my mother (who introduced me to the show) that I viewed Castle and Beckett's relationship as an abusive one. She did not take it well, she promptly told me I was wrong and gave me that kind of half glare-half frown-half squint that clearly said "you are completely flipped."

 

BUT I STAND BY MY STATEMENT!!!!!!!!!

 

At this point in the story this is an abusive relationship, not the physical kind but an emotional one, and Beckett is the abuser. She openly avoids Castle in the beginning because she doesn't want to deal with her feelings on the matter, but gives him no explanation, making him think HE must have done something wrong. She does nothing to dissuade that opinion, instead she lets him rot in friend-zone purgatory, the worst punishment for men EVER designed by women, and all because she doesn't want to acknowledge her feelings, or even that she has any, when, for the past two seasons, it was quite obvious that she did. This isn't one of those 'I don't want to ruin my friendship' things, no, this is one of those 'I am what's most important right now, everyone else just stop feeling until I can GET OVER MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!' I hate. hate! HATE! When people do that! YOU ARE NOT THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE YOU KNOW!!!!!!!!!! Just sayin...

 

And to make matters even worse, she eventually lets slip to castle that she does know how he feels, but she just cant be bothered enough to care about his feelings at this point. She basically says she doesn't want to care about him right now, and she doesn't feel any regret for leading him on and torturing him like this. She was ok with it as long as her own little world didn't get thrown off balance. Castle is of course crushed, so he does what any sensible person would do, he tries to move on, but suddenly Beckett drops another bomb shell, He's not allowed to. Beckett basically throws a raging hissy fit when he tries to get over her, Apparently he has to keep taking her torture until she decides she's ready to give a _____! <---- (insert expletive here). So still in love with her, but not allowed to either admit or acknowledge his feelings Castle still tries to protect her and keep her away from the people that have it out for her. Well Beckett finds out he cut a deal to protect her, because he loves her, in a 'brilliant' moment of utter selfishness she yells at him about it. No he's not allowed to want to keep her safe, or help her on the case, or have feelings in any way, only she can have them to fuel her self-destructive anger filled quest for revenge. Yeah, real smart there Kate, can you hear me rolling my eyes?

 

Now here is what I like about Castle, after she does this, after an entire season of emotional abuse, after her giving him nothing but ______<-----(Insert expletive) for the past 22 episodes, Castle does exactly what Beckett thinks she wants, he leaves her to her case, takes away any input, even deletes her file off his home server, and just plain leaves her, leaves her abuse, and walks away. This is great because he doesn't cause a big scene, he doesn't go out on a low note, he just leaves, leaves her to feel exactly what he has felt coming from her for the past season, cold, emptiness, and lack of feeling there. Beckett of course comes to realize what a _____<-----(insert expletive) she was being when she almost falls of a building and calls out for Castle, only to realize she chased him away and he's not coming back for her. This, of course leads to a great scene where she shows up at his apartment and the first thing he says is "What do you want?" perfectly mirroring her emotionlessness that has up until now permeated his life. She promptly confesses her feelings , practically crying in regret, and then proceeds to make out with him, ending the season.

 

I do love this show, the drama, the stories, Castle's character, almost everything, Except for this relationship in season four.  Yes the individual stories are good, but this just leaves a dark undertone in the episodes that makes them harder and harder to enjoy. I know for a fact there are hundreds upon hundreds of people out there who would probably disagree with me, but hey, that's cause they're not me.

WTH: Willy Wonka

Now I know I haven't really posted anything lately, and yes I did recently just do Willy Wonka, but I've been in a bit of a funk that has prohibited any real activity. I am so sorry. Well without further ado,

WTH: Willy Wonka, (the Candy man song)

If the candy doesn't completely mess up your teeth don't worry, the candy counter to the chin definitely will. Wonka Candies, getting dentists paid one way or another. =)

WTH: Adam West Batman

Ok, so the first time I was introduced to batman was via an original live action Adam West batman movie cleverly titled, "Batman". I recently rewatched it just for nostalgia purposes, and in one of the first scenes Batman is fighting off a shark, and during the fight you see him go for these...

I'm sorry, but, WHY?

Oceanic Repellent Bat Sprays? What? Why on earth does Batman need Whale repellent? And as a spray? For oceanic creatures, an aerosol spray? How many manta-rays are you expecting to run into outside of the water? Just saying.

The deadly shnozberry!

sorry I kept this so late, I really cant come up with an excuse. Ah well.

Ok, so when I was a kid I loved Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory, the colors, the oompa-loompas, the allure of a life time sugar high. Ah yes, those were the days.

Well when I watch that show again today and I am once again immersed in those wonderful colors and sounds I cant help thinking one thing...
Well, ok, two things, the first being how far off this movie is from the book, compared to the Johnny Depp film anyway, but the second and only less obvious thought would be this...

WHAT THE HECK I WRONG WITH THIS MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am serious, I'm surprised I didn't pick up on this when I was a kid,( the scary tunnel not withstanding)

 this movie is so messed up.

I guess the guy who made this just skimmed the book, considered it, then decided to film what was the equivalent of a drunken, drug induced, chocolate filled hallucination for the factory scenes, and be just plain cruel to Charlie the rest of the time. I mean, just look at the first real scene of the movie, where the friendly candy store owner is talking to his customers and singing "The Candy Man."

(0:38 did one of those kids just grab a Slugworth candy?)

Are any of those kids even paying for this stuff? NO! No, it's "give these lousy rich brats free candy" day, but when Charlie walks in with almost no money he's got to pay full price. Does he get to run behind the counter? Does he get free soda-pop? Does he get some vaguely creepy store owner singing to him about the guy who makes the chocolate? NO! No, he gets to go home and be scarred to death by some creepy tin peddler outside the Wonka factory.

Of course we all know about his bed ridden grand parents who couldn't possibly get out of bed for any reason. OH wait!

 

then the mom trys to cheer us up by singing THE MOST DEPRESSING SONG EVER!!!!!

THIS WAS MY CHILDHOOD!

 

And, AND we get this moron of a teacher...

Where did you even get those chemicals? Do you have a licence for those? My chemistry teacher would kill him.

 

SO that happened. Then we get to the fun part, you know the one where a old, obviously insane man proceeds to cleverly pick off the children one by one in an attempt to find a successor. Yeah.

I didn't appreciate it back then, but if today was the first time I ever watched this movie I could probably guess what was about to ensue just by looking at the guy who plays Wonka...

 




Ah, the best of Gene Wilder. =)


Now we all know how Wonka handles the removal of his rather irritating guests, allowing one to almost drown in chocolate, while dryly saying

And, even more memorably to Agustus' mother,

"Help. Police. Murder."

 

I am not even getting into that scary tunnel mess. That is possibly the second most terrifying performance in child film history. The most terrifying I will address at a later date.

 

He later "reprimands" Violet, "No. Stop. Don't. in complete monotone. love that.

 

Veruca and her father get sent to the incinerator.

 

and Mike T.V. gets shredded into itsey, bitsey Mikey bits before being reassembled at a fraction of his original size.

 

But we all remember that.

What we forget is that he shows them all these wonderful things to touch taste and smell. Like leaving out the exploding candy and blowing up Mike's mouth. What did you forget that? Yeah check it out. And let us not forget the Fizzy-lifting drinks incident.

 

So wonka shows off his lickable wallpaper and tells them to lick the shnoz berries, and in doing so not only says one of the coolest lines ever...

But he also seems to make it very clear that 'it's ok to try anything we may come across'. This is something Charlie and his grandfather indulge in in the Fizzy-lifting drink testing area. This launches them into the air, which is all fine and dandy... EXCEPT FOR THE SPINNING BLADES OF DEATH ON THE ROOF!

 

OMG WONKA! why the heck do you have those in a room where you are testing with anti gravity? How many Oompa-Loompas have you lost already to that thing?! What is with you and life & death situations?! Come on Man! AND, to top it off, you've trained your minions to sing happily about what ever tragedy just happened and essentially tell us exactly how they went wrong. Yikes.

 

So that was my childhood.....