I'm baaaaaaaaacckkk!
So, I deeply appreciate the amount of views I have gotten about my original "Everything possibly wrong with Santa Claus is coming to Town" post, you have no idea. However, after re-watching the movie this Christmas season I realized... There is so much more wrong with this thing than I first realized! Therefore, as you all seem to like the original post, I bring you....
Everything Possibly Wrong with Santa Claus is Coming to Town: PART 2!
SO lets go back to the very beginning...
So after a brief montage-esque news reel, we meet our Narrator, Special delivery Clueger, (SD for short) who is supposed to deliver Santa's mail...
...Instead, he rifles through and opens several letters. Anyone else realize that's illegal? Nope, because the nice man who sounds like Fred Astaire is telling us about Santa, lets go...!
And lets just ignore the weird dance with his mailbag...
Now, I know I already did a rant about the whole baby scene, but there appears to be a small part that I didn't notice until recently. The whole scene is about the head guard running in with a baby he found on the front porch right? So, Santa's mom decided to leave her baby on a stone porch, in winter, wrapped only in a blanket, and just hope someone comes along and finds him before he freezes?
Yeah, no, you're right, the evil mayor would actually be better at parenting than you.
The orphan Asylum is 10 freaking miles from town! Seriously?!
You named him Kris? Dingle, Wingle, Tingle, etc. and you name him Kris?
Apparently, running around with animals your whole childhood gives you superpowers...
By the way, remember the scene where Burger Meister "breaks his funny bone", and I mentioned the inadequate doctor, here's a picture...
1) That's the king!
2) Royalty should obviously not become doctors after being dethroned. Case in point...
3)You are looking at a thermometer to determine if your patient has a broken funny bone, and you put a cast on his foot. Really?
Err, what?
Hey, lets play a game! It's called, count the amount of guns this guy gives to children! Ready?
One, two...
...three, four...
...five...
...Six...
...Seven
...Eight...
...Nine!
And these are all different guns by the Way!
It's the duck again! Also, where did the cast and wheelchair go?
Okay, so the children write letters for Kris and give them to birds, who fly up into the mountains where Jessica takes them and bends over two feet to hand to the animals to take to Kris. I'm sorry, what? Why on earth is Jessica even there? Cant the birds just give the letters to the animals themselves? I mean, they're right there! Seriously.
There is a house right there, and you are all sitting outside around a tiny fire, in the snow...
Alright, lets talk about the magic feed corn.
Yeah, that, the Reindeer drugs. Jessica gives it to some deer to help break out Kris and the others. One problem, however... The whole impenetrable prison thing. Somehow, magically, having flying deer manages to melt away the Prison bars, or something, because suddenly they are all out and riding off into the moonlight.
Well, that's it. Hope you enjoyed! And watch out for my second Christmas special post: Year Without a Santa Claus. AND MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Alright, like the title says I'm getting on the fan theory band-wagon here, and the fandom of choice...
Yay!
Okay so if you haven't seen Steven Universe, then why are you reading this? Go watch it. If you have been watching, then you should know about the Diamonds
And if you know about the Diamonds, then you know about the overall mystery concerning Pink Diamond (Considering that is probably why you are here).
Thousands of people have submitted their theories concerning this diamond, her personality, her real identity, and her death, most of which involve her being Rose Quartz secretly. This was proven untrue of course, but still theories persist, aided by some in cannon information released this summer. And now, I'm climbing on the theory train and giving you my theory concerning this gem.
And so, here it is!
Pink Diamond Theory: Potina edition
I will admit I've had this theory for a while, but it was only recently that I could put some pieces together.
First off, I don't believe Rose shattered Pick Diamond.
It was the other Diamonds.
In the cartoon it is revealed that Pink Diamond was in-charge of the earth colony, and supposedly Rose was forced to shatter her to stop earth's destruction, starting the crystal gems in the process. The thing is, none of the other gems can admit to actually seeing her do it. Garnet says she did it, but Garnet wasn't even formed then. So here's where my theory kicks in.
In the murals on the moon base the Diamonds are shown with their then current colony under their jurisdiction. If you notice, Pink diamond only has one, meaning the Earth was her first colony.
It being her first colony, she wasn't expecting the earth's native species and diversity of life, and in a similar fashion to rose, who was one of her closest guards she ended up caring about them. She wanted to stop the colony, but the other Diamonds wouldn't have let her, so she had Rose start building a rebellion. However, the other diamonds found out and decided to put a stop to both the rebellion and the rebellious Diamond. They decided to shatter her, and set it up in such a way that those watching believed Rose had done it, effectively turning any Pink Diamond loyalists to their side instead of Rose's.
They gathered the shattered pieces and bubbled them so Rose couldn't heal her, hiding them in the moon base.
Rose, however, managed to retain some of the pieces of her Diamond, which she later used to battle white diamond.
Rose gathered her following and was forced to let people believe she had shattered her Diamond, but made it quite clear that she did not believe in shattering other gems, eventually climaxing in her poofing and hiding away Bismuth, one of her closest friends, to keep her from doing it.
And later she used the shard on one of her lions,
To grant Steven's Lion his powers, such as the teleportation roars.
A power that might be reserved for the Diamonds, as their moon base didn't have a warp pad and yet they were able to access it easily, and Lion knows where it is.
So yeah, there's my theory, and here's a little side note:
From Steven Universe Wiki: Pink diamonds represent love, creativity, and romance
There it is, hope you enjoyed, and hope I'm proven right. See you later!
I haven't done one of these in a while, so I thought I'd do one now. WTH: Mystery Skulls Ghost: Lewis
Okay, so if you don't know what this is, Ghost is an animated music video created by Mystery Ben for the group Mystery Skulls. I'm not going to go into a summary, because most of you have already seen it, but if you haven't seen Ghost, and it's sequel Freaking out, then go look them up on YouTube.
Alright, you did that? Good.
So, as the title says, this is just a little thing I noticed about Lewis.
So, obviously, when we first meet Lewis he's this boss awesome ghost with cool flame powers, ghost minions, and a desire to kill Arthur.
It's only later that we get a look at his original human form, and I noticed something interesting.
In classic anime/animation form you don't get to see his eyes at all the first time, but, interestingly, every time after that when you get to see his eyes, you only ever see one. And it's always on the same side.
I just find it interesting that Mystery Ben only ever draws Lewis' right eye, and part of me wonders if there's a sort of in cannon reason for it. After all, in Lewis' foster parents description it says they found him injured when he was a child and adopted him, maybe there's something wrong with his left eye.
Also, before anyone points out that ghost Lewis technically has two eyes, I would like to point out that 1) He's a ghost, and 2) Ghost Lewis' human form is never shown with both eyes.
On a contradictory note he is shown crying from his unseen left eye, so make of that what you will.
Like the title says, this doesn't really have much to do with cartoons. This is a straight up rant because there are a few things about fanfictions, fan stories about whatever the series, mainly things the writers do that are, always have, and always will piss me off. Don't get me wrong, I actually like Fanfiction; it's interesting to see people's writing styles, ideas, and takes on the characters. It's just there are several things writers do, repeatedly, in such works that make me want to go freaking kill them. So without further ado...
Dear Fanfiction writers, YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF!
1) Stop with the freaking surprise angst at the end!
Look, I get that people like angst. I hate it, but that doesn't mean other people do, but seriously, if your story is ending all happy and it was going all one way the entire story, do not suddenly throw in some angst at the end. The surprise is not funny, it's not good writing, and it doesn't make me want to read more of your work, especially if your're only thinking of writing sequels. It's one thing to have a surprise reveal, like that whatever character was a bad-guy the whole time, or something reasonable. It's entirely another for a bad-guy character, one you already want to kill for existing, to suddenly kidnap one of the good-guy's kids to raise as their own, and the good-guys have no idea, and the kid, who was only introduced for this puropse, will end up killing or hurting their family when they grow up, and then there only might be a sequel story.
This is straight up useless angst, it is not a cool twist, and it makes half the people reading it want to kill you. If you already had a good ending going, don't try to go for shock and awe!!!!! It will not work, and it makes you seem like a crap writer. If you want to allude to a sequel, or angst is a must, either lead up to it better, or place it in the beginning of the sequel, leave the original story alone. Doing this will ultimately make the original better, and any sequels much more stable. Otherwise makes readers want to kill you. I actually read a story recently where the above happened, and needless to say any appreciation i had for the story/writer is now gone and I WILL NOT read the sequel story if there ever is one.
Summary: Save surprise angst for the begining of the sequel, leave the origional alone, it in no way makes you a better writer, it just pisses off your readers.
2) No surprise monster endings!
And by that i mean no magical fix-it all endings.
I run into this more often than i care to. There are actually writers I straight up avoid because they do this. Someone once wrote that it was impossible to write 52 bad short-stories in a row. I call BULL! because I can straight up give you a writer that has, and it was all because of this. Surprise magical fix-it all endings are something all good writers HATE with a fiery passion. These endings are freaking lazy writing in action. The story involving it usually involves some angsty themes, or several deaths, or something, and then, suddenly, at the end all the bad-guys from the real series appologise want to be friends with the good guys, and fight the ultimate-evil/final-boss/big-monster, and all the dead come back to life, and all the relationship issues between the characters are resolved, and a magic portal opens for them to go to a safe place, etcetera etcetera, so on, and so forth.
This is bad writing, this is lazy writing, and should be avoided at all costs. A fun idea is no excuse for sucky writing practices. If you are about to do this, just don't. Before you even start writing, go through your story, make sure it's viable, work through everything, and try to write an actual ending, or at least do better build up.
3) THINK/TALK YOU IDIOT!
Look, I can't tell you how many times I've read a story where something bad happens, (example: someone's parents/friends are killed by the bad-guys) and one character suddenly becomes a revenge fulled maniac, becomes completely off character, and tries to kill one of their friends/the good guys for it. they never ask questions, they never try to talk through it, they just decide that the only thing to do is become a murderer and go after the good-guys/their friends. What? Or, using a less drastic version, the character overhears something out of context and makes this completely far-fetched assumption based off absolutely no facts and then goes off to do something stupid without taking to anyone. Or, someone gets this idea to go do something like, i don't know, protects them from something, and decide that instead of telling the other they will push them away.
BULL! BULL!!BULL!!! THAT PISSES ME OFF MORE THAN ANYTHING! Especially that last one! this partially ties in to my hatred of angst, but also because it's an absolutely idiotic way of writing! Real people talk to each other, or at least others. The above things are a prime example of a useless drama cop out. Seriously, all they do is suspend the drama, which only works for soap-operas people! and reveals that the writers have no idea how to keep the action going properly.
This doesn't even happen only in fanfiction, this is done by real writers too! Prime example? J.K.Rowling. Does anyone else realize that if Dumbledore had just straight up said that "hey harry, there are these things called horcruxes keeping voldemort alive, and, surprise! you're one too. And oh, also I suspect Sirius Black might be innocent and Wormtail betrayed your parents. And hey, you know how you think you're Dad is all great? Yeah, he was a bully and a jerk and always treated Snape like a freak, and stole your mother from him, and didn't die a hero, he was an idiot who left his wand lying around while a dark wizard was hunting him, and treated his secret keeper(wormtail) like crap. And really the only reason Voldemort even went after them was because he flipped a coin and said, 'I think the Potters might be more dangerous than the Longbottems today' So yeah, got all that?"
DO you realize how much could have been avoided! A whole lot of deaths, that's for sure!
Seriously people, if you cant move the action along without stupid amounts of characters going off book, or needless misscomunication, then you really need to go over your story again.
These are not victimless crimes, US, the READERS, have to put up with this crap. SO STOP! ACTUALLY GO THROUGH YOUR WRITING!
Thank you.
Well, that's all I got for now, but don't worry, I'm sure I will come back to this topic before to long.
Thanks for reading. =D
Okay, so this is a little random, and wont really be understood unless one indulges in the transformers fandom, but here it is any way.
So, for some reason I don't comprehend, I've noticed the transformers fandom has come up with some pretty wide spread... I really don't know what to call them, tropes maybe? that are generally accepted by the fandom at large to be fact.
Such things as Ratchet throwing wrenches at people...
Why use a Wrench when you could just do this?
Totally False by the way.
Or that Prowl's battle computer is some sort of big deal, when it's only ever mentioned once...
And it's never mentioned again...
But one of the bigger ones is that Starscream, Thundercracker, and Skywarp are part of a thing called a Trine.
According to most this means that they are bonded on a sparklevel(usually), the relationship ranging from platonic brother stuff into some creepy areas, and involving a rather broad amount of cultural things among their frame type, and that they are generally inseparable and care deeply for each other.
That is all a complete load of slag...
For some odd reason most people believe that seekers, the starscream frame type, travel in threes because of this, and Trineing, the act of being in/forming a trine, is solely done by said seekers.
So many people think this is cannon, but seriously, it isn't.
First of all, the actual definition of Trine is as follows...
. Trine- A subgroup of three, such as the Insecticons.
Trinemate - Used by one member of a trine when referring to another member.
So the term really just another word for a small group with three members consisting of pretty much anyone, who consider themselves buddies.
See, this is technically a Trine of humans.
Second, despite what it may show in the G1 cartoon opening,
These guys don't care a flying flip about each other. Example? How about when Starscream throws the other two out an airlock to go die in space while he seizes power? No, seriously, after the battle for Autobot city in Transformers The Movie, Starscream literally asks them if they want to be thrown out into space, due to them being damaged in the fight
Then when they say No, he ignores them and throws them out anyway...
Yeah, really feeling the brotherly love there...
I mean sure, they don't really die, but they do get remodeled by the ultimate transformer evil and converted into practically mindless servants, but still, the only group these guys are in is the one where you can sell the exact same toy under a different coat of paint.
So, to recap, the whole elite Trine thing is Bull, and there is no cannon proof for it. I'm not saying I dislike the whole idea of it, after all there are some pretty cool stories out there that involve it, I'm just saying it is and always will be completely non-cannon.
I've noticed, not necessarily recently but I've definitely noticed before, that Disney has a thing for putting characters in drag, more specifically the sidekick characters...
Disney has a long history of drag, in fact the villain Ursula is heavily based of a drag queen
But far more often it is used as either disguise (for a main character), or as a distraction (for sidekicks). Drag, by definition is, to dress in clothing of the opposite sex for the sake of entertainment. This is done within Disney via traditional means, as well as shape-shifting, and is done by both good guys and villains for several different purposes. It is often comedic, but can actually drive the action as well as function as a plot device.
So, now you get the gist, and without further ado...
Disney in Drag: Top seven Disney Drag Queens.
Honorable Mentions:
Fidget
So I would like to give a shout out to one of the more underrated of the Disney films, The Great Mouse Detective, and the main villain sidekick, Fidget. Fidget is only an honorable mention because his Drag performance last for about a second, just long enough to really freak out Dr. Dawson and Basil, as well as several innocent children watching the film.
Pleakly
Now I will admit, Pleakley from Lilo and Stitch may need to switch places with number seven on this list, but the only reason he is down in Honorable mentions is because, while he tends to solely wear female clothing, that is mostly shown within the TV series, not the movie, and being an alien with an interesting body type he doesn't have many options to the contrary. If this was a Disney drag in TV list he would be very very high on the list.
Hugo
This is from Hunchback of Notre-Dame, one of Quasimodo's only friends, dressed as his love interest, for absolutely no reason what so ever...
No, seriously, this is not important to any part of the movie at all, it only facilitates people's ability to type in the words drag and Disney in the search window and pull up photos of this weirdness.
Yeah, anyway....
On to the List!
7.
Mr. Toad from Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad
Remember where I said a main character will dress in drag to facilitate the plot?
Well in the Wind and the Willows the main character Mr. Toad is arrested for supposedly stealing a Motorcar. With everyone else believing him guilty he decides to turn over a new leaf.
That lasts about a minute before one of his only remaining friends gives him another idea; Dress as an old woman to break out of prison. This leads to a wild chase with trains and flying bullets, all while Toad is wearing a dress, a bonnet, and heels.
6.
Timon from The Lion King
As mentioned above.
Timon's incident with drag is possibly the most iconic in Disney lore, mostly because he shouts "What, you want me to dress in Drag and do the hula?!" as Simba tries to get him to play live bait. There's even a small song and dance number accompanying it, which can be viewed above. Despite this being so exceptionally iconic it is only sixth on the list because the actual event is not a very exceptional example of the character in drag.
But don't worry, it gets better...
5.
Kuzco from Emperor's New Groove
Yes, that is a lama, dressed in drag.
This is another example of a main character facilitating the plot by dressing in Drag. Kuzco is the emperor of the Inca empire, who was turned into a Llama, who is trying to get back to the palace so he can be returned to normal. Now why is he in drag? Because he's pretending to be his companion's wife so they can eat lunch. Yeah it's just as weird as it sounds.
4.
Robin Hood and Little John from Robin Hood
Now this is a interesting case, because, while main characters usually only use Drag for disguise, these two main characters are following the more sidekick reasons, distraction. Yep, Robin Hood and Little John intend to use all of their 'feminine wiles' to trick the villainous Prince John and his minions out of their gold. John even goes so far as to seduce one of the treasure guards with his rather... er... enhanced assets...
3.
Pain and Panic from Hercules
You might be wondering why the above picture is some off breed of My Little Pony, well how about this?
Yeah, this is why you should never pick up some random woman in a bar; this happens... kinda sorta...
The first use of shape-shifting for Drag, Pain and Panic, Hades henchmen, use this ability to draw away Hercules' partner, Pegasus, so their master can drain Herc's powers. In the process they traumatize both Pegasus, and most if not all young girls watching this scene.
And yet when I was younger I always hoped they'd make a toy of this...
2.
Yao, Ling, and Chien-Po from Mulan
You expected Mulan didn't you?
While Mulan is a convicted cross-dresser, since she is female she does not qualify for the title of Drag Queen.
That doesn't mean there aren't others from her movie that do qualify. Example: these three.
Soldiers who form a friendship with Mulan when they think she's a man named Ping, they quickly come to her aid when she alerts them to an imminent attack on the Emperor of China. So, for their equivalent of king and country, they trade in their man-cards for fans, sashes, and dresses, disguising themselves as some of the Emperor's concubines...
Yes, I said Concubines.
They seduce, then beat the crap out of the Huns guarding the Emperor, allowing Mulan to get in and save him. They spend the entire rest of their time on screen still dressed as concubines,
and they are Fabulous!
Honestly this entire movie is a study in cross-dressing, but saddly it didn't make top spot, that spot is reserved for...
1.
Genie from Aladdin
There is no possible way you can beat the Genie in the Drag Queen game, simply because he does it
All...
The..
Time!
And don't even get me started on all the sequels. Seriously, don't...
But the Genie is the absolute Queen of Drag, using his shape-shifting to great effect,
and the kicker...?
He does it for absolutely no reason but comedy!
Genie fulfills the entire definition of Drag Queen to its fullest, and all as he is making our sides split with laughter. I mean, who can forget in the Prince Ali number when Genie bursts out on a balcony and immediately begins to practically belly-dance?!
It sticks with you.
There's no doubt Genie takes top spot on this list.
